"Topologists are mathematicians that can't tell the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut #mathhumor" ~Via Twitter from @NISD_Hamric
New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a high school mathematics teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator. According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. It was later discovered that he taught the students to solve their problem with the help of radicals!
Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Would you all like something to drink?” The first logician says, “I do not know.” The second logician says, “I do not know.” The third logician says, “Yes”.
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identical rubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything they want to measure it, and have all the time they need.
The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume.
The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures.
And the engineer? He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up.
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.
"Aha," says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black."
"Hmm," says the physicist, "You mean that some Scottish sheep are black."
"No," says the mathematician, "All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!"
A mathematician, a physicist, an engineer went again to the races and laid their money down. Commiserating in the bar after the race, the engineer says, "I don't understand why I lost all my money. I measured all the horses and calculated their strength and mechanical advantage and figured out how fast they could run..."
The physicist interrupted him: "...but you didn't take individual variations into account. I did a statistical analysis of their previous performances and bet on the horses with the highest probability of winning..."
"...so if you're so hot why are you broke?" asked the engineer. But before the argument can grow, the mathematician takes out his pipe and they get a glimpse of his well-fattened wallet. Obviously here was a man who knows something about horses. They both demanded to know his secret.
"Well," he says, "first I assumed all the horses were identical and spherical..."
I went to see Plane Meets Plane, but there was a long line.
Customer: “How much is a large order of Fibonaccos?”
Cashier: “It’s the price of a small order plus the price of a medium order.”
This started as a way to express the admins' love of calculus and math in general. As result, this has turned into a gathering place for math-based humor and weekly challenges.
This work by Calculus Humor is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.